Faith + Inconsistency. A confession.

2 Timothy 2:13- If we give up on him, he does not give up -  for there's no way he can be false to himself (MSG Bible)

2 Timothy 2:13- If we are faithless, He remains faithful; He cannot deny Himself (NKJV)

Currently listening to
Lover of my soul- Jonathan McReynolds

Lately I have had questions. Questions about schooling, some of my choices, faith and other things I can't place a finger on. I'm going to share my struggle and inconsistency with my relationship with God.
Last year, I lost my footing with God. Yes, I was going to church, I prayed in tongues, I got insight in church, but it was like some sort of dose that wore off after service ended.
I would go back, and the very next day after church, I would find it difficult to pray alone, to study the word. I had lost the fire in my secret place. At first, I didn't accept it, or look at it that way. I mean, I would ask God for guidance and other things, and he always came through, so why bother? Why think I had lost my love? He still answered me.
 It continued till this year, and there was this particular Sunday in church and during the message, it hit me like a storm. It hit me that I was loosing my relationship with my father, I was withdrawn from prayer and study of the word. I was stagnant, lukewarm or more of cold.
But you know, God is soooo faithful. I'm typing this, and my heart is heavy and full because he loves me so much. He loves me when I haven't been faithful. He loves me when I've tried to do life on my own. He loves me when I've been so inconsistent with him, when I've been so cold to him. He loves me even when my eyes have been opened and I see that I've got it wrong. He loves me wayyyyy too much. He's so accepting of me, readily forgives me and draws me back into his arms.
So, yes I ooze of inconsistency and falling off the bandwagon in my relationship with him, but I have joy because he has never left. He's been waiting for me to find my way back to him, my way back home. He's ready for me, ready for our relationship to continue to blossom.
Thankfully, I realize my inconsistency and how far gone I am but I am jumping back into his arms, nothing seperating me from his love. To love the one who loves unconditionally. I am going to be more intentional of my relationship with my father. More intentional about study of the word, intentional about prayer, intentional about fellowship, intentional about everything am consuming on social media, intentional of what goes through my timeline everyday. Intentional about our love and relationship 💛.

Oh yeah, I currently have red hair 😂

So guys, I don't know if you're in the same shoes as I am, but God is faithful. He's so faithful, too faithful, to his word, the love he has for you and I. If you're like me and have been inconsistent and questioning so many things, I just want to tell you that God is faithful and he's loving and that he's waiting for you. Thank you for your love towards me father ❤️❤️.
Happy new month guys 💛💛. We're intentional in May.

Have you ever fallen off track in your personal relationship with God?
How did you bounce back?
Btw 😁 how was your Easter break?