Hello... I don't think we should be talking

'Hello’

‘It’s me.’ She didn’t need to say more than that. Did she expect you to forget? Forget the voice that had cried out to you when you showed her what it meant to love? Forget the voice you held meaningful conversations with deep into the dead of the night? How could you forget? Why would you forget?

‘I know it’s you. I still hear your voice in my head.’

‘You shouldn’t say those things. You need to move on.’

‘Then why did you call me?’ But deep down, you know you are delighted to hear from her again. You’ve envisioned it, craved it. So you drop the hard guy attitude and say,

‘I’ve actually wanted you to call me.’

‘I know’ she says, providing nothing else. You should be used to her long pauses, the dramatic conversations, the way she always thinks so long and hard before spewing out words. You should be used to it, her intensity, but you’ve missed her, you’ve missed everything so you’re eager and anxious to hear more.

‘And?’ you ask

‘And I’ve missed you’ and there she goes again. She did know how to put your emotions all over the place didn’t she? You could love her one minute, and the next she would bring you down on your knees in tears. But still, your heart was treacherous. It still skipped a beat at the fact that you were in her thoughts whether it be truths or lies. 

‘I should understand what missing feels like. I’m the unmarried one missing a married lover.’

There it was, out in the open. The one you loved and wanted was with another. Not just another lover, her husband and you hated yourself because you still pined for her. You hated yourself for holding unto a fantasy that she might still be yours. But you know it will always be a fantasy. Why? Because she already left you for him.